When it comes to boxer Mike Tyson, there’s enough material to fill several books, numerous television specials, a one-man show, and then some. His image has fallen and risen again and again, somehow morphing from a monster capable of biting someone’s ear off to a gentle man alone with his pigeons to a cannabis farmer.
He has also had a history of domestic violence and trouble with the law.
Though many of Tyson’s legal battles have been serious, one doubts he’ll likely face any repercussions following a recently published episode of the “Hotboxin’ with Mike Tyson” podcast in which the one-time heavyweight champion of the world admits to having cheated on drug tests by using a prosthetic penis and urine borrowed from his wife and child.
The episode, which finds Tyson in conversation with Jeff Novitzky, the vice president of athlete health and performance for the UFC, includes a segment in which the boxer talks about using a product known as the Whizzinator.
According to Tyson, the 54-year-old’s actions weren’t about enhancing his performance illegally but rather not getting caught for all the recreational substances he was regularly using at the time. Thus, testing positive for PEDs was allegedly not Tyson’s concern. Instead, It was avoiding proof of his cannabis and cocaine use that drove him to this rather extreme measure.
But before we move any further, it’s important to know what exactly the Whizzinator is.
Basically, the product amounts to a prosthetic penis with a built-in bag. Clean urine is transferred to the bag, which is attached to the wearer’s leg. Later, it is then expelled through the device in hopes of deceiving the poor sap stuck administering the test. In the fifteen years since the Whizzinator first debuted, several athletes across multiple sports have been caught attempting to use the device.
Still available for purchase, a standard Whizzinator package will currently set you back $129.95. For the cost, customers receive the device, an elastic belt with pressure band, a refillable vinyl pouch with non-spill refill port, a “Golden Shower” synthetic urine sample, four heating pads (to keep clean urine samples at the ideal temperature of 98.6 degrees), and a syringe.
In discussing the topic, Tyson didn’t divulge too many details of how his tests went other than to share that he sourced his clean urine from his immediate family. More specifically, he sourced clean pee from his baby and his wife – until his spouse pointed out a potential flaw in Tyson’s plan.
“It was awesome, man,” Tyson said, as Gabriel Fernandez of CBS Sports reports. “I put my baby’s urine in it. And sometimes, one time I was using my wife’s and my wife was like, ‘baby you better not hope that it comes back pregnant or something.’ And I said nah, so we ain’t gonna use you any more, we’re gonna use the kid. Cuz I got scared that the piss might come back pregnant.”
Believe it or not, there is some precedent for male athletes being caught for cheating on drug tests by having their samples test positive for a pregnancy. Novitzky, Tyson’s guest on the episode, affirmed this to have happened before.
In addition, he also suggested that another issue those making use of the Whizzinator have encountered is trying to use a model with a different skin tone.
“Did you have the right color whizzinator?” Novitzky asked. “Because there was that NFL guy last season with a white one.”
Searches for a 2019 incident in the NFL involving a Whizzinator don’t yield any results to verify Novitzky’s claims, although ex-NFL running back Onterrio Smith was indeed busted with one of the units in his possession back in 2005.
Given Mike Tyson, now 54, has never tested positive for performance-enhancing drugs at any point in his lengthy career, there’s reason to believe on this one. Regardless, the insanity of a system that can be gamed by the most famous athlete in his sport simply wearing a plastic penis is such that one struggles to take any facet of it as more than farce.